For my second ever Twitter Interview, please welcome @_dr01d_ !! This man is so cool, that he even sent me birthday presents one year, which included a hamster birthday card that plays I Feel Good by James Brown. I still have that card. And some days, I even use it to scare and confuse Chino the hamster. Interview time!
Are you happy to participate in this interview or are you doing it against your will?
More than happy. I demand Jelly Beans as payment however!
State your name and purpose:
My name is James and my purpose is make people happy.
What biscuit is King of biscuits? And what biscuit is Prime Minister of biscuits?
There is no king, there is no PM. There is only chocolate hobnobs. Master of the biscuit universe. Plus, Eddie (bottom) keeps a packet in his pocket at all times. What more endorsement do you need?
You just won a years supply! But of what?
Are you ill? Jelly beans, of course!
You are playing Monopoly, which piece are you?
The dog. Always. Because a dog who owns a waterworks is just the best thing ever - Unlimited hydrants to pee on!!
Fears! What fear would you get rid of and what fear would you replace it with?
I would vanquish my fear of octopus, and then replace it with a fear of sushi.
If you could spend the day traveling through a real life version of a game, which game would you choose? (Video and/or Board game)
SKYRIM. - everything is better with mead and magic.
You have just acquired your own tv channel. What existing shows would you buy to show on your channel? And what sort of reality tv show would you create?
Supernatural - WITHOUT adverts, grr. The entire Bottom back catalogue. Spongebob. Tartan Asia films. And that show where that bearded bloke shows how to do oil paintings on black canvas.
Reality show? hmmm... how about a show where chavs are forced to go to work and stop breeding? "Real Life" it would be called. I'm pretty sure it won't catch on....
Given that god is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite. Would you like a toasted teacake?
No. And no smeggin' flapjacks either.
Write a 4 line rhyming poem about this interview:
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
This interview was Fun,
I'm no good at rhyming.
Complete the sentence:
Twitter needs... Stupidity filters.
Caterpillars like when... Shoe shops have a sale on.
I can't remember... How old I am or my DOB like 90% of the time. (seriously, I often need to text people to find out)
Dominos Pizza helps... me spend money.
My bathroom doesn't have... enough plant life.
Would you rather...
Spend a week as
A) A stuffed animal who can't move unless everyone leaves the room
B) A slowly developing mould on some old bread
C) A fly that everyone is trying to squish
DEFINITELY C - Annoying people is one of my hobbies.
A) A slug with just your socks on
B) a pile of nettles with no socks on
C) a painting that just took you an hour to do
B - Coz then my gf can rub soothing cream into my feet and toes. I have a foot thing. (did I say that out loud?)
A) Kicked by a horse
B) Stung by a bee on your eardrum
C) Given the evil eye by a cow who then whispers to his cow friends, who all proceed to give you the evil eye
C - It's all good. I'd just return the next day with a group of friends and some McDonald's meals.
A) Mashed potatoes from the top of a full and disgusting bin
B) A lollipop after 2 different dogs have licked it and 1 stood on it
C) A banana that a friendly but drooling monkey just peeled for you
C - How could I refuse?! As-long as he didn't use his poo-throwing hand...
A) Chief engineer
B) Transporter Chief
C) Chief medical officer
D) Security Officer
E) Chief Science officer
F) Wesley Crusher
F - So I could kill myself and do the entire crew a favour.
Draw a picture of yourself doing some sort of hand gesture.
My thanks to the always funny @_dr01d_
Need to know more about Sir James? I bet you do!
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