Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Twitter Interview #12 @the_valerie

Today's interview is with the awesome @the_valerie!!
She's funny, interesting AND insightful. As you will learn from this very interview, so read on!!

Are you happy to participate in this interview or are you doing it against your will?

I don't do anything against my will. So there. Not enough input yet to determine if 'happy' is an appropriate adjective, though! So far so good.

State your name and purpose:

Valerie Minnich. To live & to love. To notice the number 42 where ever it occurs. To consume more tea than the average bear. To quote things & observe whether or not anyone notices. To study people & hug them. To make sure that my husband survives longer than he would without my interference. To dance with children. To buy tickets to concerts & either be the merch girl or make conversation with whoever is behind that booth.

A Halloween shop is letting you have any costume you want for free. Which costume do you choose?

Probably the most expensive & popular one, so that I can resell it for the most money... but uh, if that isn't allowed, I'd probably choose a Ghostbuster uniform. Comfortable, modest, customizable, freakin' cool. (Actually, that costume stuff is usually not all that durable. Maybe I should just pick a Star Trek uniform for special occasions.)

You have been asked to come up with a new shape of pasta. What shape would it be and do you think it would go down well with Italians?

I think rotini is pretty brilliant. Is there a larger-scale version of that yet? Let's make large rotini. There are little shells & big shells, & little tubes & big tubes (those probably have a name besides 'tubes'), so surely it wouldn't offend anyone, right? It wouldn't be terribly practical, but I'd like it anyway, & serve it a dozen ways. I'd toss it in butter & hot sauce. I'd stuff chicken salad in the grooves. I'd pour Cincinnati-style chili over it. I... am hungry.

You just won a years supply! But of what?

Money or something expensive & easy to re-sell... OR meals. Free food & not having to cook are always appreciated. Don't get me wrong, I really like to cook, but not every day.

The ability to replace your family with cartoon characters now exists. Choose your perfect cartoon dad, mum, sister and brother.

Hey now, just because it exists doesn't mean I want to make use of it! But okay, if you're gonna twist my arm. For my new father-figure, I'd choose either Batman or Spock (hey now, Star Trek the Animated Series is really cool). That one was pretty easy. My mother should be... ugh, I can't think of any cartoon moms who aren't just bland or wouldn't drive me a bit bonkers. The best I can come up with without continuing to over-think this for the rest of the day is Widow Tweed, from The Fox & the Hound. She was pretty cool. Mulan could be my sister, Egon Spengler could be my brother, & together we could conquer all evils & have fabulous hair.

What is the worst smell?

For me, cigarette smoke & freshly cut grass are the worst smells, because I am quite allergic to both. I am quite fond of breathing.

If you could spend the day traveling through a real life version of a game, which game would you choose? (Video and/or Board game)

Since you said I could spend the day traveling, I'm going to assume that that means I won't be allowed to die a terrivle death... Zoda's Revenge: StarTropics II would be a blast, for many reasons of course. I have to admit, Pokémon could be fun & comes to mind quickly, but I'm sure I'd have more fun in Mass Effect or Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. Though, if traveling through a real life version of Rock Band 3 would mean being able to rock out to excellent songs at character-laden venues across the world, I may go for that.

President Obama has asked you to write him a speech about monkeys. But he doesn't have much time and you are limited to 20 words. Write him a speech:

"Monkeys can't make sites like www.whatsyourlist.net or www.1morecastle.com, or music like Owen Thomas or Agitproper, but we shouldn't exterminate them."

Complete the sentence:

Licking parrots is a good way to... show off to your friends, & gross them out at the same time.

Computers used to be... more welcoming of floppy discs, & should return to their old non-discriminating ways.

My brain often... asks why people do illogical things, but I'm learning that much of the time it boils down to emotions.

I would like worms better if... they were delicious & easy to cook.

My bathroom doesn't have... electricity.

Would you rather...

A) To the grand old age of 400
B) A lovely garden to tend when you are 400
C) Hair all over your body, werewolf style

To the grand old age of 400. I know, I know, we as a culture have created stories of how terrible it could be to live that long, but I'm sure I could find ways to make it bearable. I could read a lot of books, which alone would help make it worth it.

Have your house made of
A) Straw
B) Wood
C) Brick
D) Wolf repellent

Brick. You can't paint straw. Wood can decay. & wolf repellent just doesn't sound very stable.

Work as
A) A face painter at a spoiled child's birthday party
B) A chimney sweep who is only allowed to speak in a cockney accent
C) A dish washer when all the plates have dried baked beans stuck to them

A dish washer when all the plates have dried baked beans stuck to them. Hey man, dish washing isn't such a bad gig, & as an introvert it definitely has evident perks over those other gigs. Moreover, it sounds more stable.

A) Delete all your emails
B) Drop and smash your favourite cup
C) Walk into a door, leaving a perfect bruise the shape of a door knocker

Probably walk into a door, leaving a perfect bruise the shape of a door knocker, actually. I can handle pain. I need my old e-mails to keep track of addresses, & while I have seen a different really cool Batman mug, I haven't seen one just like this one. Besides, it was a gift.

This arm chair
A) Is too hard
B) Is too soft
C) Has too too many tears from bear claws

All of the above. It's a complicated emotion.

Draw a picture of yourself as a super hero. Be as detailed as you wish.

I really loved this interview. She hit upon all the things I want to hear. Cartoon Egon Spengler and all!

Valerie is also co-founder of

Go check it out, everyone loves lists!!

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