Place Ya Bets Now!

A total of maybe 4 hours of sleep in 54 hours. We will now take bets on how long til my psychotic break!

Winner gets a years supply of invisible friends! (Drop Dead Fred not included. Refunds will not be given for Namby Pambys)

Update! Edgar Allan Poe, Earthquakes and More!

I will do this post in my favourite form...BULLET POINTS! Pkaow, pkaow! (bullet shots)
Onto the update!

• There is someone that hasn't been formally introduced to the blogosphere yet. So now, grab your cameras, as I introduce my newest friend...the one, the only...

Edgar Allan Poe!

 Yes, he's a hamster.

• Yesterday, I experienced my very first earthquake!! Here's how it went down. Middle of the night I feel the bed shaking, and in my Neverland state (that place between sleep and awake) I figure maybe Edgar is running so fast on his wheel that he's shaking the whole entire bed. I go back to sleep and find out the next morning there was a 6.0 magnitude earthquake! My first ever, yay! Not as good as a ride on the teacups though.
• I think donkeys are underrated.

No finer way to finish off a blogpost than with a poem! So here we go, don't hold your breath but you might want to anyway:

17 kangaroos
Had 17 didgeridoos
Each played a tune
Around about noon
While the rest danced around and boxed
#BadTastePoem

By Laura D

Yeah, that's right I used a hashtag in a poem, deal with it.

Thanks for reading chaps and chapettes!

Reasons To Hate Spiderman (And Spiderman Toys)

So on Friday I got myself a Happy Meal. Just look at that, it's rare you

take a picture of your Micky D's and have it ACTUALLY look good.

So just look at that for a minute.

(Apple slices not pictured, as they angered me so much

I didn't even take them out the bag)

Okay, that's enough staring, boys and girls.  As we all know the best(ish) part of a Happy Meal is the toy. I received a Spiderman toy! .....I do not like Spiderman. I have done many posts on this but we'll not go into that right now*.

Here he is in all his glory...

He's like one of those dreidels. Spins about like a maniac. My question is: How the HELL does that help him defeat his enemies??!! Surely that would hinder the whole process. We all know Batman is the greatest super hero of all. Now let me ask you...have you ever...EVEN ONCE...seen Batman spin around in circles? I think not. And I think I've made my point here.


...One would think that's where the story ends. But alas! You would be incorrect mon freres and soeurs. (ma soeurs??) Anyway, that night, I brought Spidey boy home with me...and as I went to shower, there was a spider in the bath!!!

I thought nothing of it. As would be normal.

But then...2 nights later. I'm in bed, "hmm...somethings tickling my arm..must be my hair", at this point I remember I had put my hair UP. But thought nothing of it.

...9 seconds later, another tickle. "Hmm, that's weird, let me scratch it" As I move my hand to scratch my upper arm (you know, where my huge muscles are) I turn my head and simultaenously JUMP OUT OF THE BED.......BACKWARDS!

A black spider was crawling up my arm. MY NAKED ARM. Eeeeeuuuuccchhhh!! (Scottish term, that is)

Both of these times, my lovely husband came to the rescue. He's so lovely. He kills for me, you know. It's like Goodfellas, but with spiders.

Anyhoo, getting to the point. After all these incidents, for a few days I had been noticing a spider in the corner of the bathroom. But I didn't want to keep looking like a sissy. So I said nothing. "I don't need to go into that corner anyway, you can have it, Mr Spider! It's all yours!"

And then today, husband goes to the bathroom, comes back, grabs a lighter, says "There's a black widow in there". The same spider I'd been seeing all those days!!! I shoulda just screamed like with all the other spiders! But oh no, I didn't want to be a sissy.

Jeez oh. I give ONE spider ONE chance ONE time in all my life!!! And this is what happens. NEVER AGAIN! Freakin' spiders.

So in conclusion, I blame that Spiderman toy. He was luring all his friends into my flat. He is in the bin now.

*Amazing Spiderman Review

My Day In Pictures

 There I am. Hello you!

 A sleepy Chino.

 An origami heart I made using ladybird origami paper.

...because I attempted to make the ladybird but...let's say it died...

actually it was never born. It got aborted, as it were.

 Did some writing! Yay!

 It was 30c here today so I opted for a blue slush puppy ice pole!
Love those slush puppys.

And we finish with a packet of hula hoops. 

Thanks for watching, we'll see you next time,

here on "Things Laura Did to Prevent Boredom".

Haircut

Yep, all of that hair is now cut off. Too many split ends, or as I like to call them, "side shoots"! I like to think of myself as a tomato plant. I'm just gonna leave you with that thought, no explanation. I'm a tomato plant.

Enjoy your day!

Update

• I created a new blog just for my photos...head over and have a peek! HERE
• Chino the hamster now has an outdoor house of his own, a car too. Just for those times when Laura D is bothering him too much, he packs a little tiny suitcase and heads out there...

•  I got a Hello Kitty face tattoo so I can be a tough guy like my idol Mike Tyson

FYI Mike Tyson is not my idol. ...No offense.

Random Comments by Laura D

• So on Sunday I spent the entire day in hospital, I overheard this one guy getting taken in. All the nurses are panicking. Heart rate? 250bpm!! Cause? Meth. Don't do meth kids...anyway, I prefer this heartbeat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDetwzG7igQ (go to 0.41)
• I moved all the pictures and videos from my phone to my computer. Ahhh, my phone feels so much lighter, that's a nice feelin.
• YESTERDAY! I had been saving some doors on my Hello Kitty calendar  so I could have a hit of chocolate right when I need it. So I goes to open it up I does. And what do I find? A Hello Kitty fridge magnet. A forking Hello Kitty fridge magnet. I cannot EAT a Hello Kitty fridge magnet.
• I leave you now with this photo of little Chino....one of the few photos without the phenomena that I like to call "fur blur"

Update (including poem)

Update time!! First of all, here is my new youtube video, featuring a certain snoring hamster...




And here's a sneak preview of my new video which I am currently editing and should be available for watching purposes in a few days!

In the meantime...a short poem for ye all...

Hello Kitty
A poem by Laura D
(written in less than a minute....as you will be able to tell)

Hello Kitty
ain't she pretty?
Doesn't even have
an ethics committee

Does what she wants
And always flaunts
Her many fonts
With few croissants

Eats an apple
in a chapel
Cause she don't care
about the Lord's prayer

All that she could
do to be good
is just claim
she's Robin Hood

Willie Talk

It's all well and good to make movies with just yourself and a hamster, but sometimes...you need a real actor. And that's why I hired this guy. His name is Willie Talk. I thought I'd introduce him to you all via a photo essay.

He wears a bowtie, because he is a legit actor

Even Chino approves of his acting abilities

Here he is posing with a pineapple

Checking out the rat burrow

He really knows how to hang out

Having a beer

Doing some cooking

Having a moment with Garfield

Feeding the hamster

A friend to all.

A Little Update

I haven't done my bullet points in a while so here we go!

• It's only 18 sleeps til Xmas!!!
• I licked an envelope today and it tasted very nice. Now let's say no more about it.
• I shall be watching Scrooged tonight. We need more Bill Murray xmas movies I think.
• Buttocks.
• Chino has learned to squeak to communicate with me. "Squeak, squeak, squeak...squeak" whilst looking directly at me means: "Please put me back in my cage Laura, I need to use the bathroom."
• Went to the import food shop today and got myself a tin of Heinz tomato soup, was deeeeeelicious. Here's the proof:

•  Also, I got a new haircut, and here's the proof of that:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

My STARmeter

Click the image to zoom in. According to IMDB, my star rating is up by one million percent! I have no idea what this means. I imagine it's a good thing?

Have a Need to Know More About Little Laura D?

Go visit the amazing site all about funny women, "Funny Not Slutty"! CLICK HERE to see their interview with me :D

And if you're on facebook, why not drop in on them there too? Right here.

Update!

And I think it's time for bullet points! Yay!

• I started a brand new blog dedicated to all things of style CLICK HERE. I have so far been posting there everyday.
• I've been looking at photos I've taken but haven't yet processed and decided I'll process the rest of those good ones and post them before I take new photos. CLICK HERE for those photos. (I'll be posting more over the next few days, there are a few up there already)
• And my Deadliest Catch parody is up on youtube! "Catchiest Boats"! And here is reason to watch it: Discovery UK said they loved it! Will you love it too? CLICK HERE to find out.

Photos!

Just to let you all know, I've been and shall continue to be uploading lots of photos to my flickr and lafango site over the next few days. Be sure to check them out! :D

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lauradmcbryde/

http://lafango.com/laura_d

Yesterday

We had no gas and no electricity and no water in the house. I was freezing, not to mention thirsty! We only had 3 bottles of water so had to conserve it.

I wore about 10 layers of clothes. And still am today btw, since there is still no gas!

Here are some photos I took yesterday...

Bud said it looked romantic with all the candles, I said it looks more like a seance. "If there's anybody there, make a noise." "I think I just heard somethin! I know what I heard!"

Okay, I'll go now and attempt to fry an egg using a bicycle powered hair dryer...

Update!

Right now I am preparing for filming tomorrow. So stay on the look out for the best Xmas movie ever made! Yeah boy!

My Camera Is Broken!

Sad days. So I'm processing photos from old shoots...

I like this one even though I look like I'm drunk.

A Tease

Tonight I'm gonna make a big(-ish) dinner, I'll post the pic here later...

Warning: I have not made this dinner before....it may turn out ugly looking.

I got a new phone!

And so I'm typing this post from my new HTC desire!

My last phone was the g1 in case you're interested.

Banner Change

As you know, it's no longer Halloween, so I've changed my "Limited Edition Halloween Blog Banner" to something more appropriate.

Though I'll probably change it again when I come up with a better idea for it. So enjoy this one while you can!