Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Totties, Corned Beef and Beans. A Poem By Laura D

Totties, corned beef and beans
Yes we all know wut it means
The taste of it is just uncanny
Whether it's made by you, or Nanny

And then we all have brew stew
Much tastier than kangaroo
And of course that was made by Nan
But never in a caravan

But the best is mince and totties
Which never gives you blood clottys
But was made by wee Marion
Who by the way, ain't libertarian.

By Laura D

Friday, January 24, 2014

Paris Hilton vs Dr Egon Spengler

You know me, I'm always up with the latest trends. And nothing beats a new trend like an old trend.

I was tipped off to one such craze by whistleblower Bud


Now that's a look and a half. She looks lovely that Egon Hilton does!

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Monday, January 13, 2014

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Haircut

Yep, all of that hair is now cut off. Too many split ends, or as I like to call them, "side shoots"! I like to think of myself as a tomato plant. I'm just gonna leave you with that thought, no explanation. I'm a tomato plant.

Enjoy your day!

Saturday, January 11, 2014

2 Year Anniversary

So today is my anniversary!

....and yes I had to be reminded of that fact.

....and yes I am a sitcom husband.

Anyhoo! I honour this date with a simple condensation artwork of my happiness:


Happy anniversary Son!

Friday, January 10, 2014

An Ode to Chino

A rodent with attitude
And not so much gratitude
All the food he will hoard
But at least he's not Rob Ford

He loves to sleep all day long
And doesn't think it's wrong
Breath making the cage misty
At least he's not Chris Christie

"Bring me tons of peanuts
And some carrots and doughnuts!"
Doesn't care what you say
Unlike the NSA

Now for some facts:
Doesn't ever pay tax
He's never seen a kitten
Best friend is Bill Clinton
That's Chino

By Laura D


Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Mini Bio Thanks to IMDB

You may or may not recall that last year I wrote a bio about myself, right here, on this blog. Turns out I didn't even have to put in the effort! IMDB has done it all for me. How cool of them!

"Laura D. McBryde was born on June 1, 1987 in Greenock, Scotland as Laura Docherty McBryde. She is an actress, known for The Strange Case of Sherlock Holmes & Arthur Conan Doyle (2005) and Taggart (1983)."

See that? I'm known for a tv show made 4 years before I was even born! That's how fantastic an actress I am.

Okay go about your business now.

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

Guilt Fish

My husband suggested we buy some little fish for the pond out back. Fishies in the garden, yay! So we go to PetSmart to get these minnows (some sort of tiny fish).

15 cents, they cost. Jeez oh, that's cheap. "We'll take a dozen" he tells the guy. The guy opens the tank and proceeds to collect the fish.

"15 cents," I think, "For a living thing...."

All of a sudden I start to feel very strange. An odd, uncomfortable feeling.

The guy drops a fish on the table accidentally, and gathers it up again with a little blue net.

I look around. "Hey those goldfish cost 17 cents. ...how come the goldfish cost two more?" my mind continues, "And those geezers over there! They're $3.50 each!" This confuses me, at best.

I look back at the guy. There's not a dozen yet, he goes back to the tank. One falls on the floor, it takes him 3 attempts to pick it up.

I'm not enjoying this.

He stuffs em in a plastic bag and puts a hose in it, it puffs up like a balloon.

This does not feel right at all. I want to run and hide by the hamsters. But they all have wet tail!

I hear birds chirping and screeching like maniacs in a closed off room, marked "Staff Only". I bet there are diseased hammys in there too.

GUILT! That's what it is! $1.80 for 12 little creatures! Man. This sucks.

Anyway, here are the fishies....


I call this one big eye, because of his...big eye. The other 11 are yet to be named but are all happily in a pond now. Soon to be accidentally licked by thirsty squirrels.

Sunday, January 05, 2014

My Gaming Presents from Xmas!

For those who are interested, anyway.

 A very cuddly Parappa the Rappa!

 A pixel bow for my hair, as if I were Hello Kitty in her very own retro game.

 Some lovely Playstation button earrings.

 Smash Court Tennis! I love being the one with the pink hair, she's good at falling over.

 The most fun multiplayer game of all time! Hate swimming though, it tires my fingers so I have to let the wee guy swim himself home. 

A joke present it may be, but I'll be damned if I'm not gonna play this!
I wonder if I'll get to BE Jessica Fletcher, or just help her out?
Like...carry her typewriter around for her.
I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT!