My First Ever Bread!

It's true! With no help from any husbands or anything, done it all on my own I dids!

Plus I added golden syrup, cos you gotsta represent the Scot in you. Yup. V tasty. All I have to say. V tasty, mf's.

Totties, Corned Beef and Beans. A Poem By Laura D

Totties, corned beef and beans
Yes we all know wut it means
The taste of it is just uncanny
Whether it's made by you, or Nanny

And then we all have brew stew
Much tastier than kangaroo
And of course that was made by Nan
But never in a caravan

But the best is mince and totties
Which never gives you blood clottys
But was made by wee Marion
Who by the way, ain't libertarian.

By Laura D

Hamster Hoarders

Yep behind the scenes of that show we've all seen on one of those channels we all know. You know, that Discovery/Nat Geo/Turbolistic type one. Yeah. Watch!

"How to Get Hyper" A Poem in 3 Languages (by Laura D)

English:
Give me some coffee
And possibly a toffee
Add some sugar, 3 spoons
And we'll watch some cartoons

Dinner we can skip
Just have a long sip
of Red Bull that's cool
That can be our fuel!

Chew some glucose tablets
And someone grab that atlas
We're going on a trip!
But not on a cruise ship

Alright, now it's time
To act like a mime
We're not thinking straight
I'm Alexander the Great


Scottish:
Geez sum coffee
An probly a toffee
Put sugar in it, 3 spoons ay it
En we kin watch sum cartoons

Tea we kin skip
Jist hiv a big sip
a Red Bull ats cool
At'll be oor fuel

Chew on sum glucose tablits
An sumbdy geez at atlas
We're goin on a trip
Bit naw on a crooz ship

Awrite, noo it's time
Tay act lik a mime
We're naw hinkin straight
Am Alexander ay Great

Gizoogle:
Gimme some coffee
And possibly a toffee
Add some sugar, 3 spoons, nahmeean?
And we'll peep some cartoons, biaaatch!

Dinner we can skip
Just gotz a long-ass sip
of Red Bull thatz cool
That can be our fuel!

Chew some glucose tablets
And one of mah thugs grab dat atlas
We goin on a trip!
But not on a cold-ass lil cruise ship

Alright, now itz time
To act like a mime
We not thankin straight
I be Alexander tha Great

Brief Introduction to the Average Day of a Scot

You wanted to know what it's like to be Scottish, didn't you? Oh admit it, you little scamp. Well here I have given you direct info on said wut not...

Ba Dose by Laura D

I hate ba dose
Just too many blows
A spell by a witch
Is making me itch

On me it has fallen
A spell called pollen
In case you didn't knows
Ba dose is ma nose.

By Laura D
(Hayfever sufferer)

Another Poem in Scottish

Wuts eh point
in writing a poem
naebdy's gonnae care
cos it's a poem
it's naw eh telly.

By Laura D

My First Poem in Scottish

When yer in sumdees car
an eh two people in eh front
hiv their windees wide open
ma hair flies aboot
lik a cerrier bag
in eh wind.