Laura D McBryde: Twitter Interview #10 @JackArcherX

My 10th and final interview!! ...okay, that's a lie.

Our interview today is with @JackArcherX!

I didn't know that much about Jack until doing this interview, and now I know 3 things:

He's funny

He's good at telling stories

and he likes using non-weapons as weapons. So watch out!!

Are you happy to participate in this interview or are you doing it against your will?

Happy? Of course I’m happy, why wouldn’t I be? Btw, that’s a fantastic shotgun you’re pointing at me.

State your name and purpose:

People call me Jack Archer, so that’s what I suppose my name is. My purpose is to eliminate all human life on the planet so the badgers can take control of the universe!

When you fold your arms, which arm is on top? Left or right?

Both

A cop just arrested you. Why did he arrest you and did you do it?

Probably for making him question his purpose in the universe and/or the meaning of his life…….Or I just stole his doughnuts.

You just won a years supply! But of what?

Habanero sauce. It’s quite tasty and it’s also a fantastic weapon. Just spray it in the eyes of the victim and prepare for hilarity!

Name your favourite tv show and your least favourite episode of it.

Serious talk here, my favourite TV show is Doctor Who and my least favourite episode is The End of Time. I can rant for hours about why it’s so horrible……….maybe I will! (coming soon….)

The Guinness Book of World Records wants you to invent a new record. What is that new record and will you accept challengers?

Well, I know a place that sells 120cm long quesadillas, so the record would be based on who can eat 5 of those the fastest (*cough*1minute5seconds*cough) And if they can survive the first 2, then sure, I’d accept challengers >:D

Pluto, Scooby Doo, Santa's Little Helper, Odie, Brian Griffin, Droopy Dog. Which dog is the best?

Hm, no love for Dogbert, Marmaduke or Dynomutt? Well, out of those, I’d say Droopy.

If you could spend the day traveling through a real life version of a game, which game would you choose? (Video and/or Board game)

Bioshock Infinite, American McGee’s Alice or Final Fantasy IX. Those are some of the most beautiful videogames I’ve ever seen, going from a fantastic Stempunk setting (Infinite & FFIX) to a mesmerizing and bizarre land (Alice)

What is the best smell?

I love the smell of Napalm in the morning.

You had an accident and fell while walking outside of a tv station. Your lawyer couldn't get you any money but has made a deal that you can punch anyone on tv. Who will you punch?

That depends on the TV station, but my main objectives would be Conan O’Brien, Steven Moffat and pretty much anyone who works for FOX.

Complete the sentence:

Toilet paper tubes make excellent...Weapons. If crafted correctly, cardboard could be sharper than a steel blade. Actually….be right back….

I used to love...Eating brains for breakfast, but I was cured from my zombie state, so now I only eat the tormented souls of the living.

People always forget...What they’re trying to write about, I mean, how hard it is to drive a helicopter? Seriously, if the mascots want the kids to stay away from their cereal, why not poison it? And that is the meaning of life. What was I talking about? D:

Only the craziest...Can call themselves the wisest.

Twitter would be better if...It had lasers, everything is better with lasers….or bears……or dragons…..or bears riding dragons that shoot lasers from their eyes.

Would you rather...

Be allergic to
A) Chocolate and all desserts
B) All pets
C) Typing

Chocolate and all desserts, even though I have a sweet tooth, I could never go a day without writing. Likewise, having a pet around always brightens the mood and helps survive the solitude of a writer.

On a Friday night
A) Be on a spaceship with a very gooey alien, that leaves his goo all over the control panels
B) Go underground to a river of slime and almost be run over by a ghost train
C) Have your grandmother give sloppy, saliva kisses to you and all your friends

I think I see a pattern here…. I mean, all 3 look like parts of the same story…. Ok, how about this: Once upon a time there was a gooey little alien living on a very distant planet. Every day he would go out on his spaceship to explore new worlds with all of his friends and every night, when they came back, his grandmother greeted all of them with sloppy, saliva kisses. One Friday night, the alien and his friends decided to explore a nearby cave and discovered an underground passage that lead to a river of slime. The cave was darker than the night, but the river glowed with a beautiful and mysterious emerald green shine. The aliens couldn’t believe their eyes; they were so fascinated by this wonderful view that they almost didn’t hear it coming…. A ghost train was headed their way… Out of instinct the little aliens jumped into the river and avoided being run over. Scared for their lives, but relieved to be alive and happy for their discovery they decided to go back home. The End………

Wait, what was the question? D:

Have your likeness be made into
A) A teddy bear
B) A dog toy
C) A voodoo doll

All of the above. To be exact, I know there’s a voodoo doll of myself circulating around the country, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it helped someone sleep (although, it’d be better if that person bought me a few drinks first) or used as a dog toy.

Take a bath in
A) Someone else's used bath water
B) Vinegar
C) Used cat litter

Vinegar. Been there done that. Don’t ask.

Spend one day without
A) Internet or computer access
B) Food
C) Speaking

Well, I’ve been through all 3 at some point, so I’d have to say the worst is being without food. I mean, I can stand a day or 2 without food, but more than that and lack of bath salts wouldn’t be a problem for me. >_>

Draw a picture of yourself looking shocked that you took part in this interview. Be as detailed as you wish.