LD's Mini Review of "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes"

First things first, from here on we will call the movie "Monkey Island". Much less scary that way!

Okay, onto the review!

I learned a lesson from "Monkey Island" and it was the following...(listen up kids! It's school time!)...

The Lesson I Learned: Humans are idiots. Also "Ape. Not. Kill. Ape".

It's a similar lesson I learned from Animal Farm...

"4 Legs Good, 2 Legs Bad"

Also, I'm not communist. Although I do enjoy the occasional Chinese TV show.

 Oh yeah, please ignore this Chinese movie I starred in...

I GIVE MONKEY ISLAND: 8/10!

That roughly translates (in monkey terms) to: "More fun than a barrel of monkeys going over Niagara Falls! And twice as scary!"

"The Wolverine" Review by Laura D

First things first, I like that woman's socks. Watch the movie, you'll see the socks. I like em.

Second of all, and some may argue less important of all, there's these Yakuza guys in it. This bunch of wee guys who dress impeccably and some have little beards, so obviously I'm gonna be on their side. They sometimes shouted "iiiiiikkke!!!" Which reminded me of General Tani...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ypb2w4byAiM

SPOILER ALERT: My guys don't win.
SPOILER ALERT FOR ALL MOVIES: My guys NEVER win.

Oh and there's this Wolverine guy in it too.

Also, I would opine that there are too many white women in it. We were doing fine with a mostly Asian cast then the white women have to pop in. I yearn for the days we have to ask "where the white women at?"

I give this movie 1 pog out of 10. This is actually a better rating than you think because pogs are rare nowadays and to have 1 pog is to have many pogs. POGS!

Iron Man 4 Trailer: "The Ironing Iron of The Ironess"

Aren't you blog readers so lucky? Not even has Iron Man 3 been released and here, so soon, I'm giving you a sneak peek at Iron Man 4...ENJOY!

Chino the Movie

Trailer for the upcoming movie about the baddest hammy you know...

Film Festivals

How come it costs to submit a movie to most film festivals?? Is it to keep out the riff raff like me?! Is it?! ...I bet it is...

The Amazing Spider-Man Review

I will start by saying this, in the past I have avoided watching any Spiderman stuff because I do not like SPIDERS. I do, however, like people who squish spiders for me...but that is besides the point! I decided today, I shall give Mr Spidey a chance.

Little did I realize that half of Spiderman is set in high school, American high school no less. So that brought up some relatability problems. I will say that if you're American you may have no problem watching this movie. ...I will also say that in comparison to this movie, I was able to relate to Abraham Lincoln hunting down vampires.

Half way through the movie I pretty much gave up and got my phone out to chat with my brother, I think it's best if I just post that conversation to give you a fuller appreciation of what I was going through...

me: Buddy

 Paul: hello!

  phone

 me: am in Spiderman

 Paul: aaaaaaaah

 me: its driving me bananas

 Paul: how is dis possible

  hahahahaa

 me: hahhhah

 Paul: what do u see

3:43 PM me: A man in a lab coat Hahhahah

 Paul: aaaaaaaaahahahaha

 me: I'll tell u how bad it is

  id rather be watching saved by the bell with a spider next to me

3:44 PM Paul: hahahahahaha

3:47 PM me: Cheesy lines and faces galore

 Paul: hhahaha

  typical spiderboy

  spiderbob

 me: yep

3:48 PM I'd rather watch 56 hours of spongebob, 1 ep repeated over and over

  Hahhaha

 Paul: Squidward!

  PAAAATrick

3:49 PM me: hahhahaRight now spiderboy is having dinner with his girlfriends parents

6 minutes

3:56 PM me: Want a pic?

 Paul: i

3:57 PM me: Ko hold on

3:58 PM Goin in dbox

 Paul: hahahhah

  looks like dennis leary

  oh wait is it

 me: it is!

 Paul: ahahahahah

 me:

3:59 PM ill take another when spiderboy is on

 Paul: ko

4:03 PM me: Dennis Learys nose looks big on the big screen

  If I may

 Paul: aaaaaaaaahaaah#

4:04 PM me: hahah

4:07 PM Spiderboy pic goin in dropbox

 Paul: webs

  hes a webmaster

  hahahhaa

 me: yep

4:08 PM hhahahahha he is!

 Paul: for further information please contact the webmaster.

 me: Hahaha

  What's that Spiderman poem?

  peter parker picked a pep of pickled peppers

 Paul: hahahahah

 me: Hahahhahah

4:13 PM  This movie could use a black guy 

That about sums it up for me.

I give this movie 3/10
(If you like white American teenagers in high school acting cheesy and listening to Coldplay then you may give this movie a higher rating)

The Bear - A Christmas Style Story

Made by me!

Xmas Movie

I can now reveal the name of my new Xmas movie (soon to be posted on youtube) ....

"The Bear - A Christmas Style Story"

A Screenshot From My New Movie

Which is yet to be named, but is currently being edited. And here is a screenshot that reveals absolutely nothing about the story, yay! hehe :D